take your tears and put them on ice.

screwed,

ever encounter a day when you just feel completely remote to your surrounding? when you are feeling depressed over something you cant make up? your mind just run wild, fantasising over some things you wished will come true and the next moment, you thought of the opposite. crashing the smile of your face with a cruel hit of reality.

FUCK UP isnt it? to want something and nothing at the same times.
to have a long walk home alone facing the grounds thinking you have nothing but just a piece of crap life not worth having?
to sit on the ledge of the some building with mind of suicide? but smack yourselves out of the idea thinking that suicide is something only a 15th years old small ignorant girl would have thought of?
to act like a man of steel when what you actually feel like is just bursting out into tears on someone's shoulder?

maybe i had been hiding in my shadows all along, bluffing myself that im the man i thought i am. reaching for something that obviously is not what belongs to me.

if i never try, i would never know. even when its pointless.
no matter what, the joke is always on me, being the fool.

posted by koonann @ 12:04 AM