Just so you know.
to my dearest girl.
I don't know when my words is gonna get straight into you ever. But its really fustrating when i see you getting all fucked up and crying yourself out of this never ending shit everynow and then.
You always ask me what to do, how to be happy again. If its not tiring enough for me to repeat myself over and over again, don't you get worn out by the same advice evrybody else is giving you?
For every wrong thing he done, you always find something special to cover it.
You know what you want best and i believe you know what you are doing to yourself, what you really want in the end. You have everything others yearned for, understanding bunch of friends who are always behind you, a happy family, good looks, never ending queue of suitors. You should be contented enough. I totally understand what you're going through. But what else do you get from clinging on beside getting yourself hurt more deeply.
Like i told you before. This is your own personal affair, no one else can tell you what to do.
Move on, darling.
And for all i know, i'll still be there as your punching bag, for your ferocious bites of anger, for your hours of ranting. Just everything you need. You know that.
Now cheer up, and give me one of that famous magawatt smile again.
Its not all love that makes life a pleasure.
loves, brother.
Let the record play.
Ever take a walk down memory lane to see the many changes that take place in your life? How different everything is now. Do you still cling on to the memories of the past refusing to let go? And how stunning can a person character and personality changed so much.
Its a little annoying when i couldnt relate something to someone as i wished to anymore. The days when everything could be talk under the sun are long gone, we are too busy with our own lifes that i feel we act more like strangers behind the mask of hypocrisy. We met again recently, and every conversation she initiate carries a string hint of shallowness of what she knows about me. I do hate myself for my dont-ask-so-much responds also, and i couldnt say i know alot about her now, anyway. We are just too busy moving on that we couldnt even bother to stop and make attempt of knowing each other all over again.
Emptiness covers all.
Emmerson find it shocking that i have LEARNT smoking. (Note: learnt and pick up is two different thing) Same goes to the many other. It just life, everything changes, with a reason, foreseen or unforeseen. Dont link me to those that use reason like " I picked up smoking to relieve stress". Its purely smoking for the sake of smoking, i dont buy and i dont crave.
Its nothing to make a fuss out of.
I missed secondary school days so much man, where we all think naively and childishly, with no general worries except for where to play after school. There's no need to talk much and we still know what each other are up to.
Smaking Junkai's head repeatedly, throwing weizhen into the dustbin, making fun of siahmong's monkey genes, kokhong's silly popcorn head, rakcent very unfriendly face, gibson entertaining himself always, aikchun fumbling everywhere for his worksheet, cheechai giving amelia famous amos cookies everyday sneakily, emmerson making a nuisance out of himself, kianloong with his many vocabulary and nicknames.
simply nostalgic.
Now, working in amara makes me see so much more. open my eyes on the different people in the society, who to trust and who not to. Mingling with those nepalese gave me a better understanding of other nationalities. But seems like everything is not gonna be the same anymore, people moving on. Damn.
Vincent's farewell chalet yesterday was alright. Full of dramas, first is DanielEngWeePeng making a clown out of himself with his ricky martin songs and sinful confessions. Girls getting themselves piss drunk and taken advantage of.
The mosqitoes feeding/talk session still made my day.
Thanks becks.
Yawns, blogging makes one hungry. See ya people around. many loves.
You are the reason why i like you.
